


He never meant to fall in love

by SofusGirl



Category: Moominvalley (Cartoon 2019), Mumintroll | Moomins Series - Tove Jansson
Genre: Angst, F/M, Light Angst, M/M, One Shot, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-04-11 19:56:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19116631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SofusGirl/pseuds/SofusGirl
Summary: He never meant to fall in love.Really. At first he hadn’t even noticed that’s what it was. They had been friends for so long after all, it was hard to separate the platonic from the romantic. And he’d never been in love before.-When Snufkin falls in love with his best friend he knows it's bound to be painful.





	He never meant to fall in love

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to write someone falling for their best friend and being miserable about it.  
> There is no happy ending, just so you know, but it's pretty a open ending, so if you want to imagine they eventually get a happy ending go ahead.

He never meant to fall in love.

Really. At first he hadn’t even noticed that’s what it was. They had been friends for so long after all, it was hard to separate the platonic from the romantic. And he’d never been in love before.

But they were best friends. And every spring he returned. Every spring a familiar face waited for him by a familiar bridge, with familiar excitement. And every autumn when he left a familiar sadness reappeared in that familiar face and begged him to stay just a little longer. And every year he still left. He had to. It was in his nature. And his friend would always accept it, even if he was reluctant, because he knew Snufkin had to travel, and he knew he’d be back come spring.

So that year, when he returned and saw his friend waiting as he approached the bridge, playing his harmonica as he always did, he had no reason to expect it to be any different from any of the other years. They were a little older, a little more mature perhaps, and Moomin a little taller and wider, but at first it really had seemed as though nothing had changed.

They laughed together and if his gazes lingered on the Moomintroll a little longer then that was only natural, they were friends who hadn’t seen each other in months after all, it was only natural they’d want to be together as often as possible.

Even when he wished for solitude and sat by himself he found his thoughts drifting to the young moomin, and he found himself smiling softly at the thought of his friend.

The realization was slow to come. They’d share adventures and exchange stories, and a touch may linger a little too long. A hand finding another as they walked, or a hug that left his heart beating just a little too fast. But still he thought that was just how they were. They were the closest of friends after all.

He saw how Snorkmaiden looked at Moomin. She adored him. And she demanded the same from him. And he gave it, because he adored her just as much. When they held hands or shared a moomin kiss, or sat down, cuddling, Snufkin wondered at the melancholy pain that accompanied his happiness for his friends. But he thought no more of it.

And if that pain, that stab of envy, grew a little bit more unbearable every time he saw them together, then surely that was only because he wanted to spend more time with his friend.

It wasn’t as though he didn’t like the other inhabitants of the valley. He cared for most of them and considered them good friends. But Moomin was just special after all. And it was only natural to want to spend the most amount of time with him.

They were sitting together at the bridge, holding hands and watching the sky. Much like they had many times in the past. Moomin started to lean more and more on Snufkin, until eventually it was clear the young troll had fallen asleep. Snufkin carefully adjusted their position so it was more comfortable, ending up with Moomins head on his lap, and watched him. The white fur ruffled slightly by the breeze, baby blue eyes hidden as he slept. The only thing Snufkin could think of was how precious he was to him.

They remained in that position for a while. Snufkin knew not how long. But the moment was cut short as Moomin awoke and sat up, crashing his snout into Snufkin’s face. The pair froze for a moment. Both pulled apart, flushed red at the unintentional kiss. Snufkin’s hand flew up to his face.  
“I-I’m so sorry!” Moomin blurted out. Snufkin remained still, fingers barely touching his lips, cheeks red. Just as moomin was about to ask if he was alright his mother called for him and he hesitated before changing his mind on what to say.

“You can join us for dinner if you’d like?” he suggested, though it sounded more like a question, uncertain and hesitant. Snufkin snapped out of his stupor.

“I… No… thank you, Moomin,” he managed to get out. It was not unusual for him to decline such invites. He much preferred his own company and making his own meals, but the circumstances made it feel awkward and tense.

“alright… I’ll… I’ll see you tomorrow then, Snufkin,”

Snufkin said nothing as he walked to his tent.

His heart was pounding, and his head felt fuzzy, like he had stuffed it in a pillow. He couldn’t quite think. Everytime he tried he ended up back on the bridge with Moomins snout barely touching his lips. He had liked it. Too much. This he could not chalk up to just them being close friends. He may not be experienced in such matters, but he was pretty sure friends did not go around kissing their friends, or thinking about kissing their friends. He felt his face burn. It was an accidental kiss. It meant nothing. And yet it had changed something. For him. Opened his eyes as it were.

It made sense he supposed, when he thought about it. But it was a problem. He couldn’t… He just couldn’t be _in love_. Not with _Moomin_ of all people! Not that there was anything wrong with Moomin of course. Rather the opposite in fact. He was practically perfect in Snufkin’s eyes. But they were best friends! Snufkin would never want to jeopardize their friendship like that. And besides, Moomin had a girlfriend. Who he loved very much. And who loved him back. No. Snufkin would just have to go on as though nothing had changed. Because, really, nothing had! So what if his heart beat a little harder, or his face burned a little hotter. They were still friends, and he’d just have to push his feelings down.

Easy.

Well… easier than telling him and getting rejected and ruining their friendship anyway.

Snufkin did not sleep well that night.

 

They did meet again the next day. Stuttering their greetings and rubbing their necks to ease their tension.

“So… about yesterday…” Moomin began.

“I apologize if I seemed cross, I was just startled,” Snufkin said. Moomin breathed out a sigh of relief.

“Yeah, me too… I’m sorry I made things awkward,” he said.

“No, I think we both did,”

“I just- I know you don’t like when people invade your personal space, and even though it was an accident I still feel like I violated your trust somehow, I just really wanted to apologize for that, and I hope you know I really didn’t mean to! I wouldn’t do that to you,”

“Moomin, it’s quite alright, I know it was an accident,” Snufkin smiled softly. Ignoring the stab of pain at the loud objections. He’d known, of course, but it still hurt to hear how much Moomin didn’t want to kiss him. “Now, let’s just forget it and move on,” he said.

“Ah, yes, of course,” Moomin replied. And so their day continued as it always did.

The envy grew stronger once he had realized why he was envious of Snorkmaiden’s relationship with Moomin. But the hardest part was still keeping a straight face when moomin grabbed his paw or hugged him or just smiled at him, when all of his being wanted to shoot him a beaming smile back and shower him in love. When he wanted to lean into the hug just a little more and peck his cheek. But he held back. Keeping up his façade of calm. He’d smile and play along. Because he loved Moomin and would never want him to feel uncomfortable if he could help it.

It still hurt to be so close, but still not close enough. And it hurt to see him so happy with Snorkmaiden, knowing he’d never look at _him_ that way. So if he occasionally curled up in the comfortable darkness of his tent at night and cried that was just natural, and just as it should be. At least Snorkmaiden didn’t leave Moomin for a whole season of the year. It was really for the better that he loved her and not Snufkin. But still, he felt his tears, though annoying, were justified.

When he left for winter that year he felt more torn than ever. On the one hand it was, much as every year, hard to leave Moomin when he looked so sad to see him go, even as he said he understood it was in Snufkin’s nature. It was even harder now, knowing Moomin still wanted him to stay, and wanting to please him. But on the other hand, he always left, and always returned. If he did not this time, everyone would know something had changed. Plus, maybe a little distance would cure him of this foolish crush.

And so he left, as he always did. Wandering southwards until he’d return in time for spring. Knowing deep in his heart that the distance would change nothing, and when he’d return in spring he’d be just as hopelessly in love. Knowing he’d still rather remain friends than confess and be rejected.

He never meant to fall in love, but he did. And he would keep it to himself.

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written in so long, so sorry it's not more. Just a little one shot for y'all. Never thought I'd get back into Moomin. I grew up with the old show on TV and loved it back when I was a kid. I hope you liked this little story. 
> 
> If you feel inspired to continue this/do your own version/do some art, please let me know, cause I'd love to see it.


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